Cussing at work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.


Number 2

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.


Number 3

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?


Number 4

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.


Number 5

TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!


Number 6

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.


Number 7

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.


Number 8

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f___?


Number 9

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.


Number 10

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?


Number 11

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.


Number 12

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.


Number 13

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.


Number 14

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.


Number 15

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.


Number 16

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.


Number 17

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?


Number 18

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.


Thank You,

Human Resources